Perhaps you’re in a toxic job situation that simply needs to end – and fast. Take white space for yourself to help you get clearer. This may be the perfect moment to sit in the discomfort of what you’re feeling around your work, and to really dig into what your feelings are trying to tell you here. Both a blessing and a curse, this trait means I tend not to wallow for long, but it also means I can jump too quickly to a state of “fixing.”Īs a culture, I find we are often so anxious to move away from uncomfortable feelings that we take action to stifle them as fast as we can, to avoid having to be with them. When I see a problem, I want to solve it. Is Change Urgent or Not?Īs a self-proclaimed “activator” according to the Clifton StrengthsFinder, I have a bias toward action. And that’s potentially both very frustrating and very normal. Those problems that feel worth the effort of solving now, with baby in your life, may indeed be very different than those that seemed worth solving a mere few months ago. Ask yourself, “For me, what are the problems that are worth solving?” he advised. He also said to consider asking whether the problems you were trying to solve before baby arrived are the same problems that you want to be solving now. “What is a job, but work, people, meaning, and mission?” Jason mused.
What we find most important and worth worrying about can shift so abruptly in these moments. We reflected on how common it is for identity and values shifts to happen when we undergo major life changes, among them the birth of a child, the loss of a loved one, and a serious illness. I interviewed my husband, Jason Levin, a career coach with Ready Set Launch LLC, over breakfast this morning about these questions.
What I’m hearing behind your question about whether your feelings are normal is also perhaps a query, “why is this happening, and what, if anything, should I do about it?” But it’s worth thinking about the global context. When it’s time for a change, it’s time for a change. I know it may be hard to tease apart how much of what you’re feeling is part of the overall dark heaviness of this year and not being able to enter a work space that is physically separated from home life. Darrell Kirch at an Association of American Medical College keynote, “if you lose your sense of mission and connection to colleagues.” “It’s a very short path to depression and burnout,” noted Dr. Oh, how much easier it can be to feel connected to a work mission, when we’re connected to others! And that connection is so lacking in our workplaces right now. Yes, that return involved the hassles of commuting but also the joys of interpersonal office connections. That scene bears no similarity to the return-to-work of yesteryear. And you simply “log in” to start your day. You returned to work remotely and during a pandemic. Second, be sure to keep in perspective the specific historical moment we’re in. You’ll see, they are absolutely all over the map. In this piece I listed a sampling of 24 of the words mamas have used in the Mindful Return course to describe how they feel upon coming back to work after maternity leave. If, upon your return to work after leave, you’re asking, “is it normal to feel X,” the answer is YES. (“What we resist persists,” the saying goes.) So many of us simply shove our feelings down and get on with our days, ignoring them until they rupture at some point in the future. Good for you, first of all, for paying attention to how you are feeling about your return to work. Here are my musings on this really important subject, in no particular order. And I’ve noticed other new moms seem to feel the same way, too.”ĭeep breaths here, mama. She continued, “like whatever you are doing in the office isn’t important and feel like it used to feel? I have this awful feeling when I sign on every day. “Is it normal to just feel dead inside about your work?” a mama recently asked me a few weeks after her return to work from maternity leave.